Well, growing up was lonely and challenging. I never quite fit in with any click at school. I was that weird, quiet, girl. Yes, I had one really good friend in elementary school, Nanette. She didn't seem to mind or notice. My mom did notice and took me to a doctor. I took a lot of tests. He didn't know why didn't I talk or play with other kids. He told her that I was really intelligent. I didn't do normal kid things. I hated playing outside with the feel of the grass and the sun, both of which bothered me immensely. I read encyclopedias and dictionaries. And, I was always imitating people, their accents, mannerisms etc. And, I was obsessed with time, being perfect.
High school was challenging, my literal self couldn't understand a lot of things, lots of misinterpretations. No dates, boys were an uncomfortable mystery. Unlike most teen girls, I hated the mall. It was so noisy and crowded. Well, the literal challenge posed lots of problems on tests. Even though I was smart, I had terrible test anxiety so my grades suffered.
Here, is the happy part, I finished college, got married and had two girls. My second child was diagnosed with Aspergers and as I read the symptoms, I saw myself. As an adult, I was diagnosed as PDD-NOS. So, I made it through decades with no psychological or academic support, ABA etc. It was difficult growing up being me. But, I wouldn't change all of my negative experiences like being teased and bullied. I am a strong, independent, successful teacher. I work with the kids who are different or have trouble learning. I love it! I get them and they get me.
When I was diagnosed, the psychologist talked to me about helping me change and become more normal. I responded, "Why would I want to change? Being autistic is what makes me good at my job, organized, creative, and innovative". So to all of you who want to be normal, don't be. Be yourself because God doesn't make mistakes.
Friendswood, TX
