I'll never forget the day Griffin came out from his bath, wrapped in his Sesame Street towel, and asked, "Mommy, do I have Aspergers?" I immediately was filled with shock and relief. My husband, Tom wasn't home and I knew this was a conversation we needed to have with him together. I scrambled for my words. Knowing he was not going to stop asking until he got an answer, I still tried to prolong a response. "Well, sweetie I think we should wait for dad," I replied. " But, Mom, I want to know what you think," he said. How could I look at him and not respond? "Honey, I really don't know. How would it make you feel if you did?" I asked. "Well, I would feel cool because my friend Roger* has it, and he's cool. But I'd also feel sad that I would always be scared of things." My heart just about broke and at the same time was filled with love and gratitude that I had a child that could so beautifully express himself.
The conversations we now have are so amazing. Tom & I have always been honest telling him that, like everyone, he has things to work on; that he has an amazing brain; and, that we will never stop trying to get him the help and understanding he deserves. But now we are able to really dive into this with him, sharing our thoughts and getting a clearer picture of his. Previously, I had struggled with what to tell him, and how to tell him. I felt like I was betraying him, lying to him. How could I tell him anything when even the doctors still had different opinions?
We explained that there is no blood test to know for sure, but that he has characteristics that look most like Aspergers and that is what his doctors, his dad, and I think too. He now proudly tells people that he's on the Autism Spectrum and has Aspergers. He's such an inspiration to me and I know he will do great things!
Chicago, IL
