My son has always been a source of joy and of questions. Charismatic when young - flashing smile, twinkling blue eyes, and blond curls - people were drawn to him. By school age I was seeing some things that made me question. He was bright, read early, no noticeable delays in any area. His vocabulary was phenomenal. But socially he struggled. He had sensory issues with his clothes and food. At 8 y/o I realized he didn't make eye contact. I thought he was lying to me. He wasn't. I had to decode eye contact and teach him how to do it. Our doctor just shrugged. There was no diagnosis of Aspergers at that time. He struggled socially all through school. He went into the Air Force but was asked to leave after 4 years because of social awkwardness. He ran into some serious problems at 32 y/o. In an effort to understand I began reading about Aspergers. I could check almost every box from the way he walks, talks, interacts, and his endearing naïveté. I had him evaluated and "bingo"! I am a counselor and have taught others professionals about adults with Aspergers. It doesn't go away! One professional actually told my son he couldn't have Aspergers because he made eye contact and was married! My son thanked him about the eye contact, stating "I work very hard at it." And I have learned the sad truth that a disproportionate number of individuals with autism are incarcerated for "crimes" that are more a misunderstanding of boundaries, or a result of obsessions that cross acceptable lines. I have tried to educate the legal system, but it is an uphill battle. In spite of it all my son is doing well and is happily married and a father of two: neither are Aspies.
Emilie McCartney Waddell SmithJenks, OK