From the moment of his first cries, I knew in my heart something was not right. My little guy as he grew, refused to nurse, took tiny little naps that lasted only a few minutes, he could not sleep at night, would rub his feet together as an infant to remove his socks. At age one, he was walking and finding unusual things to get into; such as the back of his battery toys, removing the battery packs and using the string to put into his mouth. By the age of two, my little guy had learned to escape like Houdini. He went from talking words to pointing and grunting. He would not eat, refused foods and would turn away anytime food was presented on a spoon. There was not a lot of eye contact at all, mainly for only brief moments and then to stair off in the direct distance. My little guy had food allergies, asthma, and developed eczema at a very early age.
My son is now 10 years old and despite the many learning curves on my end, not his. I have come to appreciate a beautiful autism world. Where sounds are explored and so intense, lights shine brighter than what I thought, melt downs mean everything, and clothing has to be only snaps. I never knew butterflies had so many colors or their wings made such a flapping sound. I had no idea on a blue sky day, the white clouds could mingle so they would not be alone. The learning of Tomas, Star Wars, the presidents, the national history of our country could be looked at in a new perspective. That a grocery store trip meant that I had to speed up and why. That the shoes I use to walk on the hardwood floors inside our home, left a traveling sound.
Son, I just need a little more time to keep learning, and I promise I will learn all there is about your world. The world as you know it and all the beauty it holds.
I love you endlessly,
Mom.
Brownsburg, IN
