Our first son, Caleb was born perfect, whole, and beautiful. I suspected autism when he was 18 months old but whenever I brought my concerns to family or his pediatrician, my concerns were brushed off as me being a first time mom. I was told not to compare him to other children because everybody develops differently, but my friend had two children on the spectrum and a lot of his behaviors raised red flags for me. We pushed for a diagnosis, but were only given vague answers low motor tone and speech delays. They that he failed most of the assessment but they suspected he had borderline low IQ. They told me that his social skills would improve when his speech did.
Caleb was a bit more immature than the other kids his age in preschool but it was explained away as the difference between boys and girls and I was told that he was smart but "young for his age." He was so unintentionally charming that his teachers overlooked a lot of behaviors that other students wouldn't be able to get away with. It wasn't until kindergarten that the differences became obvious. He couldn't sit down with the rest of his class, he didn't remember names, he was inappropriately affectionate with other kids, he was easily distracted, and would spit on his desk. It led to another assessment where he was finally put on an IEP for "autistic like behaviors." He got his official diagnosis a year later.
Today my Caleb is 10. He has always needed special help in the classroom, but he is a smart boy and has overcome so many of his struggles. He has good days, and hard days. He loves helping people, Minecraft, and cooking. He is affectionate, stunningly beautiful, oddly insightful and not at all humble. He is just an amazing human being.
Being his mother has caused me to grow into a better person. Caleb's autism is a part of who he is and I wouldn't trade him for the world, but I do wish life wasn't so hard for him.
Sanger, CA
