I had a vague idea of what autism was from the movie Mercury Rising. I was a teenager when it came out, and loved the boy in the story so much, that I wanted to name my own future son Simon.
When my Simon was borne I had forgotten all about that movie. I had forgotten about autism. I was not ready for Dante.
I saw the delays. He walked later then my eldest. He didn't talk, he babbled. He had moments where he zoned and I couldn't reach him. Dante would wrap himself in a blanket and rock. When he was borne he cried, he cried when I tried to feed him or hold him close. I thought he hated me.
When he was four, he still didn't talk, just babbled. He was potty trained. Barely. I knew something was off. I suspected, but wasn't sure it was autism. He still did not want to be held. I still thought he hated me.
Once I had a diagnosis from his school, I kept working with him. I refused to believe he would never talk, never find his place. He kept learning, kept growing.
He taught me how to talk to him. How he needed to learn.
Two years later, he would mimic. He could say ABCs and 123s all day long. He knew so much. My heart was breaking, I thought I would never hear his "voice".
He would hurt himself and wander. He broke more furniture and walls then I care to mention, but I didn't give up.
One night, during the second year, I was cooking dinner. He came in and said " Mom, Thank you. I love you mom. Keep trying." I know now, he loves me, and I will never give up on him.
Andreas, PA
