Stories of Hope

It's Miller Time

There are several things about my children that I would change if I could, having Autism is not one of them. That may shock some people, but I happen to believe that God made my children exactly the way they are supposed to be, and who am I to want them any different? Having Autism does not define them, it is just a part of who they are.

Evan is 15. He just began his freshman year in high school. He is in the marching band (the first special needs student to do that), and he goes independently to each of his classes each day. He is funny and sweet and, at times, a huge pain, especially to his brothers.

Elliott is 13 and in the 7th grade. He is a very loving child, and always has a smile on his face. His friends are very important to him and he LOVES school. Elliott has played soccer since he was 4 and currently plays for the 7th grade soccer team.

My boys have taught more that I could ever teach them. It is because of them that I, at 40 years old, decided to go to college to become a teacher. I am currently teaching in a developmental preschool where I am blessed to be able to learn from my kiddos every day. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if anything about it was different, and I thank God for everything he has given me, especially my wonderful boys. I wouldn't change a thing.

Cyndi Miller
Lebanon, IN

This is Cale my little brother

This is Robert Cale he was diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the age of 3. At the time I had never heard of autism ever, never even knew it existed until my mother told me when she took him to Doctor. I had her explain it to me but still couldn't quite understand it. I do know though, even though he is autistic he has such a great imagination. He has particular things he loves such as trains, tornados, the titanic ship, sharks, bridges, piranhas, and certain tv shows. His favorite colors are black and red, mostly black though. He loves regular show and adventure time on Cartoon Network. As you can see in the photo above he made a finn costume out of cardboard and jake out of tissue box with pieces of cardboard for legs. I drew his face for him. He also made the sword out of cardboard. When he got done I was like "Wow he really just made a Finn costume." It was funny. A few days after this photo he made another Finn hat, but the face more circular just like Finn. I literally have sat down and watched him take the little Lego pieces you model cars out of, and built the titanic too. It wasn't exactly the same color now, but everything was where it should be. He also loves to draw houses with chimneys. I noticed when he was around 4 drawing a house better than any 3 to 6 years old I've ever seen. I was really amazed. Cale is now ten and he is in the 4th grade. He loves to sing and hum himself to sleep when it's time. He does take medicine for the ADHD and to help him go to sleep. He is a wild spirit though without his medicine which can be a good things at most times, but there are sometimes where it's get too out of hand, but I couldn't ever ask for such a cool and sweet little brother, besides my other little brother Riylin, I wouldn't change him for nothing.

Tori prater
Sparta, TN

The most confusing years of his life

So for my son Joshua this all started when he was about 1.5 years old. He was in daycare almost full time so I could work. He didn't like either kids, didn't like to play with them, and wanted nothing to do with them. He went through the normal phase of biting and pushing, but it came to a point where it wasn't just a "phase".
They suggested he was possibly autistic and to get him tested. I disagreed back then I couldn't believe in my heart there was anything wrong with my little boy. So he went to a new daycare after getting kicked out of that one. Same issues which finally made me start taking him to the doctor to find out. After 3 doctors they ran his test. Sadly the news came back he had pdd-nos. It hurt more then I thought it could. At first I had no words, then it was just why. As I looked at my little boy who has figured out more things then a 3 year old should he was just told he was on the border of the spectrum. Then I realized we were atleast blessed it wasn't full blown. They hope with 3 therapists in school and special needs class he'll be ok. Either way it has made me see how hard it is to have a child who is more "special" then other kids. He is beyond smart that's all I'd ever hear. And that is definately true he is its amazing how fast he can learn. Which I'm proud of him for that. But loud noises, crowds, sometimes the most random things scare him. It is the most heartbreaking thing to see him cry and freak out and not be able to do much other then hold him close and tell him it'll be ok. He is the most sweet boy in the whole world I just hope he can have the help he needs and no matter what we will always be there for him. I love you Joshua thank you for being so amazing.

danielle tucker
westland, MI

my 2 superkidsCNN

Alexia 5 and Xander 4 have both been diagnosed with autism. Through genetic tests he is shown to have duplications in his 16p chromosomes. Working over 10 years with autism there are behaviours that are so familiar to me that it seemed normal. So to my surprise Alexia's school wanted her looked at and behold autism. Although upsetting and worring about quality of life i know that with all the funding (that needs to be increased due to more children being diagnosed) her and Xander's future looks brighter. I love my super kids so much. They have older siblings who love them and are learning to understand them and how they see the world.

jolene
oshawa, Canada

Many questions...few answers... @ JAPSROCKS DEFYING AUTISM

On the 22nd day of July 2007 at 3.15pm, I woke up from the grogginess of anesthesia, my Aunt Nuru who has been with me through-out labour up to the time she signed the consent for a caesarean operation, happily announced “it’s a baby boy!!” Japs faced his first shocker on his 8th day on earth…with gunshots, anxiety and tension emanating from violence from a highly contested general election in Kenya….could that have contributed to his condition? We shall never tell….After 90 days in a maternity leave, I reluctantly made arrangements to leave the baby with a house-help and resume duties at my place of work….could that have contributed to his condition? We shall never tell….One morning when preparing his baby cot, I unconsciously placed my 3-month old bundle on top of a double deck bed, he fell down with a thud, I was momentarily paralysed in shock…hey there don’t start cursing me…how could I have known that a 3-month old baby would in a flash move to the edge of a bed and suddenly fall?? When I recovered, I gently lifted my poor baby from the floor, soothed his agonising cry and rushed him to the hospital, a CT scan and x-rays were done to determine the extent of brain damage, fortunately all was well…I heaved a sigh of relief, did a quick prayer to the Almighty and thought…may be it was the carpet that cushioned the fall, or was it God’s hands?...could this have contributed to his condition? We shall never know…From the time Japs was diagnosed with autism…countless questions with no answers have crossed my mind. Grief describes an individual’s thoughts and feelings associated with the loss of someone or something significant to them. Grieving is a personal experience and therefore one’s grief experience cannot be compared to someone else’s”. I have gone through a myriad of grief coming to terms with Japs Autism; from anticipatory grief, to delayed grief; to blocked grief; to aborted grief; to complicated grief reactions….

Karen Nancy
Mombasa, Kenya

Our Superman

When Eli was 4 he was diagnosed with asperger's vs autism. My husband and I already knew in our hearts, but hearing a neurologist lable him brought tears to our eyes. The doctor looked at my husband and said: "He may not be the kid that goes to all the parties, or the guy with all the friends, but he also probably won't be the guy that gets in a lot of trouble with those friends. He has a future."
My husband and I are so thankful for the joy Eli brings to us everyday. We have our ups and downs, but I know it is God that designed Eli, and I marvel daily at God's uses of him even as a little boy.

Vanessa
North Cape May, NJ

Love in an unexpected place.

Six short years ago I took up playing an online game. While playing that game I made some friends and joined a group of people to play with. We used a voice chat system while we played so we could all get to know each other and make it easier to do group questing. One day there was a new guy in the voice chat. He had joined our group and was getting acquainted with everyone. That is when I heard his voice for the first time. He was explaining something to someone in great detail and with so much patience. I sat there and just listened to his voice. When he wasn't handing out knowledge he was a funny but shy man who seemed a bit awkward. I sent a message in the game to our group leader and asked who he was. "Just some guy I saw in town who was alone." I knew from that first day that I had to know him. I had to be his friend. And soon we were inseparable in that game. I got to know him and the more time I spent with him the more my friendly feelings turned into love. It didn't take long. That was August 2007. We married on April 12th, 2010. We are still inseparable in that game and in life. You see, I am autistic and agoraphobic and my husband has Asperger's Syndrome. We are a match made in heaven. We are both content to stay home and not be around a lot of people. I love him for all that he is. To me, he is perfect. Not because he does everything perfectly but because he tries his best to be the best he can be. And for that I try my best too.

Stephanie Kohler
Knoxville, TN

Photographic pictures helped relieve our sons's anxiety

After my son's diagnosis of mild ASD with severe communication delay I became a crazy woman!

Like most we tried every possible therapy known at the time, ABA, RDI, Chelation, Sensory Integration, Diet, Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy the list goes on and on. One thing that came prevalent during this time was the importance of using visual aids to help him understand the world to which we live.
It was heartbreaking to see the anxiety he endured on a daily basis of the unknown, meaning where we were going, what was expected, how to act.

Trying to explain this verbally meant nothing to him, it went in one ear and out the other.

We decided to slow the pace down a little and take more time using photographs to show him where we were going,help him make his own play and food choices, visuals were used for a step by step home and school routine and we even used visuals to help him understand how he was feeling at the time and prompt the self-help process of getting dressed, bathing, brushing teeth etc.

We were diligent with this process. Persistence and Consistence is the key.

Within months he started to communicate with us but the most powerful transformation of all was his ability to regulate his anxiety, by seeing what was expected and where we were going was a huge relief to him.

Whilst language will always be somewhat slightly delayed, now a teenager he lives a happy independent mainstream life, he cracks jokes, has meaningful conversations, loves and plays sport and hanging out with his mates.

Alison Mooney
Sydney, Australia

A Late Diagnosis

I was born with Aspergers but I wasn't diagnosed until I was almost 17. I never fit in with anyone or had any friends because I would lose them all. I was too weird and didn't know how to communicate with people without being too direct and harsh but I never understood that. To me, I just assumed everyone saw the world the same way that I did and thought the same way as me and should react to things the same way as me.

It was very lonely and simple things that NTs (neural typicals) said or did like teasing or flirting would be misunderstood to me. I would feel uncomfortable or think they were trying to hurt my feelings. Also, since I didn't communicate the same way as everyone else, my way of saying things could be taken as being very "rough spoken" and hurtful.

When I started going to a psychologist he taught me how to understand the way other people think. It was still very hard to communicate with people but when I started frequenting an online psychology discussion forum I met someone who changed my life. I befriended a girl who miraculously was patient enough to overcome the "language" barrier. She thought I had a very interesting mind and helped me to learn how to communicate to NTs and "speak their language".

Today, me and Hayley are engaged to be married. She made my life long dream come true. All I ever wanted out of life was to have someone who really could understand me and love me despite my difficulties communicating and accept my love without pushing me away for extreme lack of "soft skills". She is someone I can trust to talk me through my problems, not push me away. I love her very much!

Andrew M. Frank
Bordentown, NJ

Kaiden

This is my son Kaiden. He is the love of my life. From birth we knew there was a problem. The doctors asked me if i wanted to have an abortion or there was always adoption because I was 19 when I was pregnant with him. When he was born he was diagnosed with 22q13 deletion. The hospital I was taking him to said they had seen some autistic characteristics in him but it would take years to sort the 2 disorders out. At age 3 he was diagnosed with autism. He's now 8 years old. He is still non verbal working on getting him to use his iPad as a communication system. A couple months ago the autism clinic he goes to helped potty train him. He's still in diapers at night and still has accidents but we're working on it. He is so smart in so many ways. People ask me if I could do it all over again and change my decision would I. My answer no he's mine for a reason. Regardless of the beating his head on the floor and pulling my hair out when he's having a fit. NO I love him with all my heart he's beautiful. He lights up a room when he walks in. Lol! He keeps getting better and better everyday. Thanks for letting me share our story with you.

Erika Rea
Lafayette, IN